Changes, wanted or not is often harder than I first think it will be.
It is a little hard, but good to be alone right now.
This week I closed out my mom’s home in Michigan. I was born & raised in Ann Arbor. My parents left the home I grew up in after my dad had a stroke 30 years ago. They moved to a single unit condo. Then after dad passed 10 years ago mom moved again.
For many reasons she just sold her Ann Arbor home. I have spent the last week in those walls going through it, packing up to sell, donate and move along to the next generations.
The feeling I am facing at the moment is a sense of homelessness. I can come to Michigan whenever I want in the future, however, mom will rent and it will be too small for me to stay there. I no longer have a home in the town Facebook declares is my hometown.
It is a feeling reminiscent of moving back to the US after 13 years in Africa. It’s like I am supposed to belong, but I don’t.
This time, I am letting go of my earthly “home town.” There is sadness. Yet, when I sit still for a bit, I can find much to be thankful for.
My identity and my significance do not come from where I live, or where I come from. My identity comes from who I know and the one who knows me.
I’m not talking about knowing important people. As a child of the Creator, I am always at home in His presence.
As I let go of my old attachment, I find I need to cling all the more to the one who made me and knows my end from my beginning.
Especially when I feel lost or at loose ends, I turn my gaze to God who knows why I was created and why I live. I see the love of God who sent His only Son to die on the cross just so I, and you, can spend every day in relationship with the one who knows us better than we know ourselves. God went through all of that so He could spend every day in relationship with me, and with you.
As I sit alone in the last place in Ann Arbor I can physically lay claim, I am grateful to be alone. Yes, it hurts. I am closing another door on my past. Changes are not always easy or fun, but they are inevitable. I am thankful to God because I grew up in this area and for how it contributed to making me who I am today.
Now I ponder, and let Abba remind me how much I am loved with a love that will never fade. That is what I need more than anything, today, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow….
When you are alone, you are never really alone.
How do you respond to unexpected or unwelcome change? In the quiet, reach out and let God fill the needy place in your heart with His love for you!
