True friends are amazing. They do not grow on trees, though sometimes they do seemingly fall into our lives. There are different levels of friends. There is your basic acquaintance. These are people you meet that you have yet to get to know well. There is potential for more, but for any number of reasons, we have yet to develop into something closer.
Building true friendships takes time and effort. I love to work in teams. People who come along side each other who share a goal or purpose create an environment of collaboration. I find this one of the best ways to get to know people. Each member of a team brings their uniqueness to the effort. A good leader can see and respect the different strengths and weaknesses of each person, and is able to place each where they can contribute the best, for the individual, and for the goal.
Working towards a unified vision is also an easier way to see if people genuinely share the vision, and are personally faithful and trustworthy. We can have good friends who do not share our same points of view. We actually need those people in our lives. . . even in our inner circle. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 12:17
True friendships form outside of teams as well. I love Henry Clouds’ book, “Changes That Heal,” he makes the point that we all need “grace, truth, and time” for us to mature in life and godliness. Our true friends walk with us through life, regardless of our “stuff.” They also show up in times of need.
This past week I have finally journeyed through the unwelcome illness that so many have had. I am through it, gaining strength and glad to be on this side. I only mention this because my biological family members live too far away to help me daily. Some of my true friends have deeply blessed me. They have graciously stepped up, without me asking. I have been fed, shopped for, called, texted, and been very well taken care of by genuinely loving, faithful, friends.
Over the years we have walked together, taking turns as needed, dispensing lots of grace, truth and time to each other. This process has developed trust in our friendships. These are mutual friendships. I have and will do the same for them as the Lord permits. All of us, however, are faulty human beings.
Who is our best friend, always and forever? The only one who can love us perfectly. The Maker of heaven and earth. Paul tells us what that looks like in 1 Corinthians 13.
“4 Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous
or boastful
or proud
5 or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable,
and it keeps no record of being wronged.
6 It does not rejoice about injustice
but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
7 Love never gives up,
never loses faith,
is always hopeful,
and
endures through every circumstance.”
This passage is not a list to check off. It is a prayer to grow into, first by receiving, then to give from.
Abba, we live in strange days. I am learning to “get used to different.”* To do that, I need to lean into You, Your Word and Your people, all the time. From that place of love and security in the Truth, I tap into Your infinite resources to share. I thank You from the depths of my being for the true friends you have given me. I pray we all learn to recognize and appreciate our true friends, and that you will continue to build us into the true friends you want us to become.
*a line from The Chosen
