Never Say Never

I don’t know about you, but every time I have said out loud that I will never do or be something, I have eventually done or been the very thing I swore I wouldn’t. Why? It may not happen to everyone, so let me give you some personal examples.

When I was a very young student, long before I knew Jesus, I saw how hard teachers worked. Actually, some of my classmates and I gave one teacher such a difficult time he quit mid-year. I was bad! I swore, yes, I said out loud, repeatedly over time, that I would never be a teacher.

Fast forward to University. I met Jesus when I was in High School, but our relationship did not grow much until I started attending Bible studies with CRU at Indiana University. We learned to pray for the world and were encouraged to consider serving overseas as a missionary. It was during that period of spiritual growth that I made another oath. I swore I would never be a missionary in Africa.

This young midwestern girl with a private school education, university degree and sorority membership decided teaching and Africa was not best for her. Or perhaps I was afraid. I did not trust Jesus enough to open my horizons to step into the unknown. It was unknown to me, but not to the one who made me.

About now, those of you who know me well are shaking your head and rolling your eyes. The rest of you may be in suspense… Upon graduation I joined the staff of CRU, then Campus Crusade for Christ. My first job was with their Christian version of the Peace Corps.

My first assignment was teaching Secondary School to Nigerians in the small town of Langtang, three hours drive from a real city. I had no telephone. This was years before desk top computers, the internet and decades before smart phones. For a season my running water consisted of students carrying buckets of water on their head from a local well. I stored it in a 55 gallon steel barrel I kept on my front porch, then boiled and filtered it.

So what is God’s point? Our Creator knew before the beginning of time where and how I would live. I came in to this world in the USA. What could I offer? Or as I eventually discovered, it was more about changing me for the better. I found Psalm 139:7-10. This passage gave me confidence to trust and it became my theme to fly away to find God by distant oceans.

From where I stand today I thank God for my 13 years living in 4 countries in West Africa. I learned many life and God lessons. Here are a few, they are all still in process in my life:

Expectation: I thought I new things about me and about Africa. In retrospect I had a caricature of Africa. I also knew little about myself. One of the best life lessons I ever learned is, “To expect ‘it’ to be different from whatever you expect ‘it’ to be.” It is interesting that unmet expectations often bring out a sense of being offended, even anger. It is human nature. Abba had to offend me and break down my pride to mold me increasingly into his image of love.

Pride: I thought I knew better than Creator, I needed to learn humility. There is a God, and I am not God. I am a child of God and I am perfectly loved. When I think my ideas are best, God deals graciously with me and each of us.

Weakness is really strength: The Apostle Paul recounts a word he received from God. “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Cor 12:9

My years in Africa were some of hardest in my life with languages to learn and health issues. I have lost count of how many times I have had malaria, then Typhoid fever to over come. I had several other intestinal infestations and the cure, a drug called Flagil made me nauseous and depressed. It was, however, necessary to stay alive.

All those years that I initially said I never wanted were some of my best. Overcoming obstacles and myself, with my hand in the hand of the one who made me, began a transformation process I will never regret.

If you ever say never, you are almost certain to get what you don’t want. Then again, once you have it, you are almost certain to love it, if you go with God.

Abba, help us to trust you rather than fear opportunities you may be offering us.