Only 10% Of Happiness Is From External Sources – Henry Cloud
No wonder happiness is so elusive! Happiness does not depend on your work ethic, social status, physical appearance, achievement and winning the Lottery will not make lasting happiness. If it does not come from outside of us that means 90% of happiness depends on internal sources.
Internal sources do not depend on others to make us happy. I hear some people saying something to the effect, “Oh My! I’m in trouble….” I certainly was! In university I and everyone around me were testing boundaries and learning lessons, sometimes hard lessons, about life. I had a desire to measure up to other people’s expectations so I would be accepted. At the same time I was looking for approval, I was not the push over, follower type.
As a young follower of Jesus I began to hang out with a bunch of other young people who loved Jesus a lot. I was attracted to them for several reasons. They were smart, creative and knew how to have fun! No alcohol or other externals needed. They had an internal happiness I was hungry for, but to that point found personally elusive.
I began attending weekly meetings of a couple hundred students where there was music, skits and true stories of how God was actively working in people’s lives. It was there that I began to taste a new way of experiencing life, people and God. Joining a small group Bible study gave me the opportunity to find out more about Jesus. Getting into the Bible and I found a growing hunger for the word of God and prayer. I actually started going back to church on Sunday mornings, even after late parties the night before…it was a process.
As I approached the end of my years at University I had to decide my next steps. Friends were hired to teach school, go into large businesses, or chose to continue to a Master’s degree. I had a few options, but I struggled with what was becoming increasingly obvious to me. My default setting was to go for happiness based primarily on the externals. I did not know the 10% statistic, but the dissatisfaction I experienced attempting to suck happiness from status, money and other people only frustrated me.
I weighed the long-term cost of living for the externals against the cost of serving Jesus vocationally. I’d get a pay check, but it would be modest. And to receive that paycheck I needed to raise all of it myself, including insurance and taxes. I also suspected God wanted me in Africa with new cultures, foods, in villages with different languages… basically I would have few of the external comforts I grew up with.
When I thought of the external and internal advantages of following the only one who really knew me, for reasons that have eternal significance, I chose to dive into the “deep end.”
I was not disappointed.
I have experienced 38 years of adventure that most often came with challenges. It has not all been fun or easy to say the least. Like any sixty year old I have experienced plenty of heartbreak and tragedy. Nevertheless I say with confidence I have no regrets, because I have learned to experience Jesus with me, allowing Him to chip away at my character defects and replace them with His likeness. That has developed a deep satisfaction in me that no one can touch. For me, that is happiness.
I am still very much in process. It is comforting to know my happiness depends on my personal relationship with Jesus who is the living Word of God who existed before I was even a thought. He says “I will never leave you or forsake you” Hebrew 13:5 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8
“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!cAnd when I wake up, you are still with me!” Psalm 139:16-18
This internal happiness cannot be taken from me…but I can lose track of it if I am not paying attention.
Where are you looking for satisfaction and happiness today?
Abba, Thank you for never giving up on us. I am glad you are the answer to our happiness. May we know we belong to you and learn to let your love into our lives so we can enjoy you, and share you with others. Amen
