Finding Stability In The New

Finding stability in the “new” that we find ourselves in can be a challenge. Things have been shifting quickly from what was, to what some call the “new normal.” I contend that we have yet to “land” anywhere, let alone settle there.

In all this I am feeling that my former framework no longer works well. Interestingly, I don’t know much about what the new framework or boundaries for me are either. Consequently, it is tough at times to get my bearings and I can feel unstable. One thing I do know about finding stability in the new, however, is God’s promise that my boundaries have fallen for me in pleasant places.

Recently, God met me in a very relational way that brought me a fresh level of freedom and understanding of relationship with our Creator. In the morning, Holy Spirit nudged me to read Song of Solomon 5, and I could not get past verse one in The Passion Translation. The gist is that God cherishes, desires and even delights in me because I am His. Period. I rolled these thoughts over in my mind on and off all day.

That evening at church, the song Defender met me powerfully during worship. Much of the song is about surrendering to the love of God. There is one section that spoke volumes to me: 

“When I thought I lost me 

You knew where I left me 

You reintroduced me to your love 

You picked up all my pieces 

Put me back together 

You are the defender of my heart.”

That section melted me into a puddle of tears. In my insecurity of wanting the safety of a new framework, our Creator knows exactly where I am, all of me. Even better than knowing, He picks up all the pieces and puts them back together. . . better than before, when we allow Him. This was the beginning of my journey with Holy Spirit that night.

After Defender, the worship team told us to get really comfortable so they could sing over us. I put my jacket on the carpet and went face down on top of it. The song they sang is called Lean Back. One line in particular spoke deeply to me. “And when I lean back in the loving arms of a beautiful father…” 

I knew my earthly father loved me. He was a really good man. But he worked hard and was not always available at home. There was not a lot of natural “lean back time” with him. When I was young, I ended up working for him in his stores more than either of my siblings. In retrospect, that was how I found better relationship time with my Dad. In a way, I had to chase him.

That is the moment Holy Spirit reminded me of Song of Solomon 5:1 The contrast between me chasing my Dad and God coming to me, knowing, and delighting in me was clear. I had been unconsciously equating my Dad with our Creator. More tears flowed as I let that sink in. I confessed believing the lie that any human can be a sufficient representation of God. I repented, separating my image of God from my image of my Dad. I also thanked God for healing my image of both.

Unlike my very good earthly father, who I had to chase at times, God is chasing after me, always. And that’s when they began to sing the song Reckless Love. Singing of God:

“There is no shadow you won’t light up

Mountain you won’t climb up 

Coming after me 

There’s no wall you won’t kick down 

Lie you won’t tear down 

Coming after me”

Once again, Holy Spirit touched my heart, pulling together Song of Solomon 5:1, Defender, Lean Back, and now His Reckless Love for me. It is true. The One who made me is continually coming after me, chooses me, and loves me, no matter what. End of discussion! 

This relationship with God is eternal, and it provides the structure I am craving. In the perfect, unceasing love of God, I am finding stability in the new.