The fourth of July is an inspiration to me and the majority of Americans. On that day every year we celebrate our Declaration of Independence from England. This year the Fourth of July inspires me to tease out the idea of healthy independence between people and our Creator.
Last week I wrote on the need, actually the requirement, we have for community. We need other people. One might ask then, why independence? Don’t they conflict? In fact, Webster’s dictionary lists dependence as an antonym, or opposite meaning for independence.
Like so many things in the world, being independently dependent is a paradox. Para means two, and Dox means truth. Two truths that at first glance seem to be completely opposite, that on closer examination can sometimes both be true and can balance each other out. There are times they need each other. That is a paradox.
We need community, a form of dependence, for us to heal and grow. But if we lean in too far, our individual boundaries begin to blur. That blurring of lines between people creates unhealthy co-dependence…a topic for another day. Developing and maintaining our separateness, or independence, while remaining connected and dependent on a community to learn and grow, is healthy.
Our goal in a family is to raise children who will be responsible citizens. We want them to find that balance between independence when they can take care of themselves, and dependence where they can live in community. That is how it is supposed to work with people.
Our Maker also wants each of us to grow individually, so we do not have to have a need for people to tell us what God wants for us. We can learn to go directly to the source, our Creator, for the answers in life. One of the ways we do that is by reading the Bible and learning about it. It is God’s word to us. The Gospel of John begins by describing Jesus as the living representation of God and calls him the Word of God.
Another part of spiritual growth Jesus tells us about is: “…the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” John 14:26 Talking with God through prayer, is also a large part of how we grow in relationship with the one how made us. In the Word there are many promises to guide and help us grow.
Spiritually, the same paradox of relationships in families and community holds true. We are healthiest when we grow ever more independently dependent on God. That is, we do not depend on other people for our relationship with God. We develop our own personal relationship, directly. Yes, community is part of how we grow, but there is not substitute for one-on-one time and energy with our Creator.
How dependent are you on God directly? Do you depend on others to tell you about the Bible and what it says? Or do you read it yourself and pray when you have questions? Do you talk to God about your cares and Joys?
Abba, We are all on a life long journey of “growing up.” Thanks you for being the perfect loving parent. May we be teachable, so we can help others become more independently dependent on You!
Hint: If you are new, you can start with the middle of the Bible with Mathew, Mark, Luke, John and Psalms. Mix it up =}. They are easy to find in the table of contents.
